monkeymom's Diaryland Diary
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Watch me unravel
This is probably the worst PMS I've had in a long time, and it shouldn't be that bad because I was taking B-vitamin supplements earlier this month and that was supposed to be helpful but wasn't, and I am just miserable!
It's almost at an end however, as I am sitting here feeling my head pound with a pre-menstrual headache and my back is killing me! So that means tomorrow we'll be having the painters in and life will be back to normal (whatever that is) for a couple of weeks.
Rich will be so relieved, and so will Rachel, as they get the brunt of all my moodiness and paranoiac sufferings!
This morning I got an email from my boss, answering a note I sent to him, and his reply just set me off on a self-pitying rant about how he doesn't appreciate what I do and what a thoughtless asshole he is, etc, and then I had to meet Ruthann for breakfast and I was so tired and had been at work for a 12-hour shift and really, I think I was tireder than I even knew, so I was trying to be pleasant but breakfast was overcooked and dry and there was a large group of old people at the table next to us so I kept thinking about how I do not want to be old... Oh yeah, it was a jolly time.
Then when I got home I was just so deep in misery over my job and the fact that I even have to have one, that I called Rachel to talk to her about it. She is such a nice girl, who is always cheerful and listens to me - I cannot appreciate her enough! So I was telling her the plan that Ruthann and I had at breakfast - that is, that I will pay off everything and get Scott done with his mission, and then I'll quit working and we'll travel around and visit our kids!
So I told Rachel that I would visit her and Dave and their 8 children (hahahaha, that makes me laugh every time I think about it) and I would just sit on the couch and knit for the kids until they got sick of me and were saying, "When is she going to leave??" and I said how could she be so ungrateful for even thinking such a thing when I have given my kids the best years of my life, and then she started cracking up and so did I, because I was obviously completely over the edge of sanity and skidding downhill on my face! OMG, I laughed so hard I was crying, but that was partly a manifestation of my hormonally-challenged state!
Rachel reminded me that I always get all worked up over arguments that I have in my head, which is absolutely true and sometimes I can't even sleep because I'm fuming over something that happened or worse, hasn't happened yet but could happen at work and I just get so upset! She mentioned the dream I had, too, in which Rich tossed my favorite cat, Patsy, onto the neighbor kid's head, and the cat jumped/bounced off of the kid and onto the grill and his fur caught fire. I woke up so mad at Rich!
Wow, that still pisses me off just thinking about it.
I'll be feeling better, tomorrow, I'm sure.
12:02 a.m. - 2004-04-08
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